As I try to study for two exams, I'm compelled to procrastinate and write something. Plenty of thoughts have been running through my mind that should have made its way on to this blog....but haven't.
To break it down for you (mini-update):
Ratha-Yatra is less than a month away + finishing up 3rd year + chores I promised to finish once I had free time = busy me.
I managed somehow to make time for these activities/services. I would stay up for hours on end, skip meals because they got in the way, whatever it took. Futile, really, since my rounds were suffering. Completely.
Thank Krsna for devotee association and Brhat Mrdanga Prabhu. If you haven't met the latter, I suggest you find a way to meet him! He gave an unbelievable seminar on the importance of our most sacred vow, chanting 16 rounds. (To check it out, please visit: www.torontokrishna.com .)
As practioners, you hear constantly the importance of chanting. I totally get it but my problem is prioritizing. I leave my rounds to the last second, barely with an ounce of respect and love for them. I just want to finish them to say that I have. Neglected and used, would probably be used as words to describe our relationship. Prabhu kept hammering the point that rounds in the morning are the best and hearing the vibration is the most important part. So I have tried to rebuild that relationship in the morning. I won't lie - I don't finish all in the morning but the attitude is changing.
My rounds have become my solace. Solace from my juggling act of spiritual and material life - school, services, family. Truly a stress reliever. With this attitude in mind, I try to hear more deeply and to concentrate. It doesn't prove to be an easy task. The relationship is slowly building up to where it was before. Services are done with more awareness of reasonings and goals - Krsna. All in all, happier demeanour. Maintenance is crucial right now.
Will post some other stuff soon enough. (Really, a reminder for myself to do so.)
*Scurries back to studying*
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